


It's now or never.

by dansenswest



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Co parents, F/F, F/M, Female Friendship, Friendship/Love, Happiness Along the way, Multi, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pain, Parental Westallen, Plot, Romance, Sadness, past relationship, sunshine twins
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-05
Updated: 2020-01-12
Packaged: 2020-11-24 16:22:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 17,379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20910578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dansenswest/pseuds/dansenswest
Summary: A horrible fight split up Iris and Barry a little over two years ago. The only thing that kept them linked in anyway was their daughter, Nora. With nearly three years of secrets and hidden feelings for one another, will it be too late to rekindle their relationship?Angsty Parental!West-Allen AU.





	1. we're just friends.

**Author's Note:**

> Okayyy, so I know I said I had some happy story ideas....but I lied (sorta). After that super sad trailer I couldn't stop thinking about this story that had been sitting in my drafts for over 6 months with nothing but an outline. I always wanted to dive into an angsty West-Allen story but I've always been scared to? I haven't seen any co parents to lovers stories with West-Allen and I don't know if it's because it's hated or no one thought of the idea but here we are. 
> 
> Anyways enough of my ramble! Please let me know what you think of this story, I wrote it late last night on random whim of inspiration. Also, nothing is Beta'd so please mind any mistakes. I try.

Iris West woke up to a sudden smack in the face. And boy, did it hurt. She rubbed her eyes briefly as she sat up to see that her five-year-old was spread out across her bed. She lightly giggled to herself before placing a soft kiss on her brow.

“Oh, you’re definitely a bed hog, you little nugget.” She whispered softly before lying back down on the bed. Snuggled close to her daughter, she sighed. Nora had been tossing and turning and waking up throughout the night due to terrible nightmares and that was considered a good night. On a bad night she’s screaming and crying and shaking which always breaks Iris’s heart. Sometimes being a single parent was overwhelming but she was trying and that’s all that mattered right?

\----

Morning came and brought the golden rays of sunshine through the windows amongst the small loft. Iris had awakened and crept out of bed hoping not to wake up Nora. Since she hadn’t been sleeping at much lately, Iris tried to let her sleep in as much as possible.

As she made her way around the king size bed she stopped and took in this small moment. Her little girl was starting to be not so little anymore. Scrunched up on the bed with her arms flopped out, snoring quietly, mocking her father’s way of sleeping. Iris knew eventually Nora would need more room to grow and be a kid but she was so attached to this loft that couldn’t even imagine leaving it. Even with all the pain and anger build inside the walls. The time would come eventually she would tell herself.

Glancing in the mirror she noticed the dark circles under her eyes, the lack of sleep was definitely catching up to her. Between parenting, running Central City Citizen, and still occasionally helping out at STAR labs, things were hectic to say the least. Not to mention that Nora’s nightmares kept Iris up on the nights she wasn’t already. she had already continuously talked to Nora’s father about these nightmares but all he did was assure her that Nora slept fine with him and it was probably just Iris being overprotective and worried.

Being a mom wasn’t easy for Iris. Like yeah, Nora’s dad was nice and consistent with the child support and they were stable, not financially struggling but sometimes you just can’t buy everything or solve all your issues with money. Iris was tired, exhausted. And people were starting to notice. Two of her best friends, Kara and Felicity knew she wasn’t getting much sleep so they tried to convince her to let them take her out for some relaxation. Whether it was out to lunch, or a massage, or even some meditation, anything Iris wanted. But they knew that in order to get her to go out, Iris would have to leave Nora with her father for the day.

After much convincing she hesitantly called him and asked if Nora could come over earlier than usual, It was a Thursday morning, but Iris knew that he was off of work since they had exchanged schedules during mediation. He excitedly agreed to let Nora spend come over earlier than expected, it did make Iris feel a bit guilty, she knew that as Nora grew older the more time she needed to let her daughter spend with her dad, didn’t mean she had to necessarily like it though.

After a brief shower and a change into some comfortable clothes, she made herself and Nora some breakfast (nothing fancy, just sunny side up eggs and toast) before she noticed a tiny human rubbing her eyes standing in the doorway.

“Good morning Nugget!” Iris exclaimed as she scooped her up into a hug. “Morninggg” the little one repeated while stretching in Iris’s arms “Did you sleep well?”

Nora nodded in response, “I am hungy though, wheres the fwood!”

Iris laughed as they walked into the kitchen, she was definitely her father’s daughter. Always had an appetite. 

\----

After breakfast, the duo watched some cartoons before getting ready for the day. Iris explained that she would be going over to her dad’s in a just a little bit because she had some errands to run. Nora didn’t seem to mind going over there earlier than expected, which made Iris feel a little bit better about having a day off to relax.

A few more hours went by before Iris started to pack Nora’s bag. Nora made it very clear she wanted her red Flash pajama’s and her pink Shark dress in her bag for the next day. After they packed her small little bag, they decided to watch cartoons for a little while longer until there was a knock on the door.

“DADDYYYY!” the little girl yelled as she took off towards the door, nearly tripping over her own feet in the progress.

“Nora!” Iris attempted to call after her. “CAN I OPWEN IT??” After seeing the smile on her daughters face grow wide it made Iris cave. She never usually allowed Nora to open the door. “Sure, but just this one time…we already talked about you opening the door.”

Nora nodded excitedly before swinging open the door. There he was, standing there with messy hair and big ole round glasses with one hand jammed into his pocket, the other eventually placed on Nora’s back.

“Hey there munchkin!” He said, bending down to scoop her up in a hug. “DADDY, DO YWOU WANNA TOME INTIDE? I WANNA SHOW YOU SOMETING!” Nora squealed.

Iris looked at him, he looked at her, but before either of them could say anything Nora screamed out “PWWEAAASEE!”

“I guess, just for a little bit because I have to get ready to leave soon.” Iris responded quietly as she opened the door all the way.

Nora squiggled out of Barry’s arms while running back towards the sleeping area of the loft. “I’ll be wight back daddy don’t weave!”

Barry chuckled lightly, “Okay munchkin.”

Iris and Barry sat there in silence for a minute, Iris tried to fill this empty void of silence but small talk wasn’t her thing. Especially around him.

“Do you want some coffee? I have tea if you are on a no caffeine streak again.” She asked leaning on the counter. “I’m good, I’ve had two cups already.” He responded with a small grin. 

The silence was still awkward, it was strange that this person she once was so close with, was now so cold and kind of unpleasant to be around.

“How are you sleeping?” He asked which caught Iris by surprise. “Oh, um…good, pretty good.” She lied.

“Iris.” He gestured up to her eyes which had lightly dark bags under them. “Is she still having nightmares?”

Iris just nodded before sipping a bit of coffee from her mug. “Last night was nightmare free, but that was the first time in a while…” she mumbled.

He knew what it was like to have nightmares. After his mother was killed and his father was killed, the nightmares were never ending. Every night was like a vivid replay of what happened.

It had only been a little over two years since the murder, but it still scarred Barry till this day.

Just like how Barry stood in this same exact spot two years ago when he said he couldn’t do this anymore. She had no idea where this random burst of anger and unhappiness came from but it was there like a thick blanket. She had pleaded with him not to end things after that terrible argument that night, she kept asking him what was wrong and if he just needed some time apart to grieve. She was willing to give him the space and time to do so because she of all people knew what it felt like to lose a parent, but after a few nasty things were said something switched inside of Iris. She decided not to argue, she didn’t chase after him, when he said things were final she respected that regardless of how much it hurt her **_and it pained her terribly_**. She wasn’t going to apologize anymore (even though she couldn’t recall doing anything that needed apologizing) She stayed away…A few days after the big blow out Iris calmly reminded Barry that he- they, still had a child together that he needed to be present for. Cecile recommended them to a mediation counselor and that was pretty much that. Iris broke down a few times within the first week although she played a fake smile in front of her three-year-old, she tried not to get upset every time Nora would ask when her father was coming home. Things were messy, and things were hard. But Iris didn’t cave, and Barry felt as if he had messed up one too many times.

After the first few months, the two developed a pretty platonic acquaintance because of their daughter. Iris appreciated that Barry was active and paid child support and was there for Iris when she needed a break. He wanted to make it up to her for messing things up—although he never told her that. He didn’t explain the real problem that night and how some of it was misplaced anger…But he tried to make it up in subtle ways.

If there was one thing that was solid between them, it was the fact that they weren’t going to be bad co parents because their daughter needed some steadiness between their broken family. And they weren’t going to have their failed relationship come in between their co-parenting.

“Anyways, thanks for doing this on short notice, I hope I wasn’t interrupting your plans or anything.”

“Don’t worry, I didn’t have no plans today anyways, I was just gonna see if Ralph wanted to go bowling so.” Barry started to nervously rub the back of his neck.

“Oh, Fun….” Iris started fidgeting with her mug. “NORA! Are you okay back there?” Iris questioned as she started walking back towards her bed-- she suddenly collided with her five-year-old. “Sowwy, I wanted to show daddy muffles but I can’t find him.” Nora frowned.

“Muffles?” Barry questioned from the living room. “It’s her stuffed shark, she got it when Kara took us to National City’s Fair.”

“Oh, okay.”

“MUFFLES HAS A FWASH COSTUME IT’S SOOO COOL!” Nora stated excitedly while jumping around. Iris crouched down to reach Nora's level. “Well, how about this, I will look for muffles while you’re gone and when you get back you can show your dad before he leaves, Because mommy has to get ready to leave.”

“Awww, otay. Sowwy daddy maybe next time.” The little one frowned up at Barry.

“Here gimme hug.” 

“I’m gonna miss you mama.” Nora mumbled quietly. “I am going to miss you too nugget. Be good for your dad okay?”

She nodded before Barry took her hand to exit. They were almost out the door when Barry stopped and turned around. “Wait, Iris?”

She turned around quickly, “Yeah?” 

“Uhh no, just….I wanted to know if you were busy next week?” Iris raised a brow. “Well, on Tuesday, Wally and Linda will be in town but other than that It’s just the usual schedule... Why?”

“Oh, Wally and Linda are coming into town? That's nice..” He said with a tad bit of disappointment in his voice. He used to love it when Wally and Linda would ride over from Coast City. Wally _was_ like his brother.

“Yeah they said they had something they wanted to tell us so….But is everything okay? Is it about Nora?”

Barry looked down at Nora who was now chewing on her bookbag string dancing in mini circles. “Yeah, I uh actually wanted to talk to you about something…You know just good old co-parenting stuff.” He chuckled nervously.

“Oh okay, well yeah I mean I have a free lunch period on Monday while Nora is with my dad so if that works for you.”

“That will work! Alright! Come on Nora.” Barry gave Iris a small and subtle smile before walking out of the door. She just stood there for a moment in confusion, “It’s just a friendly lunch between two co parents, I mean what could go wrong?” She whispered to herself before walking into the bathroom getting ready to indulge in a nice hot shower.


	2. no biggie, right?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A filler chapter with some interesting girl time! With a minor flashback <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yep so I didn't realize HOW many angsty stories there are out there for West-Allen right now, but I PROMISE you guys there is fluff, humor, and light moments that will be incorporated into the plot. I'm not going to make you guys suffer the whole story because well, then I would have to suffer too. Not to tease anything but there is specifically westallen fluff coming very very soon. HANG IN THERE! 
> 
> In the meantime enjoy!

Iris was dressed and ready just in time when there was a knock on the door. When she went to go open the door she saw her two best friends, Felicity and Kara walking in with big smiles.

“Hey, Hey, Hey! We were going to bring you your favorite donut since we stopped by your favorite place but someoneee ate it by accident.” Felicity announced as she walked in.

“It wasn’t my fault! I just really…like donuts.” Kara said defensively.

“Well it’s okay, I ate most of my breakfast with Nora this morning.” Iris giggled before embracing in a short hug which both of her best friends. “Speaking of Nora, we…actually ran into them at the café.”

Iris raised an eyebrow, “Oh really?”

“Yepp but I take it as you didn't get much sleep last night?” Felicity cut in while pouring herself a glass of coffee.

“Oh, come on, is it that obvious?!” Iris whined. She tried to cover the lightly dark circles with makeup but clearly it wasn’t working. “Actually, not really. You look great per usual but a little birdy may have mentioned it out of worrisome.” She said slowly taking a sip from her mug.

“Nora shouldn’t be telling you those things. I'm fine.”

“It actually wasn’t Nora…” Kara chipped in. “Wait why would Barry be talking about me? Especially to my best friends?? Is this something that happens often?”

“Well…Not really, maybe sometimes…Yeah…No…” Felicity quietly mumbled. “But in our defense, he works right next to me at Star Labs and he is also the father of my pseudo niece, not to mention long time friend, so yeah we talk about all kinds of things.”

“He did say you guys are going out to lunch on Monday so wanna tell us what that is about?” Kara playfully teased. “It’s nothing serious like that, he asked if we could discuss things about Nora. It’s strictly platonic. I can promise you that.”

“When was the last time the two of you alone were in the same room without it being tense and awkward? Or like non-angry?” 

“Well…I mean…It was…technically the only time we went out together was when we went out to dinner on Nora’s birthday and then after mediation.”

“Yep! See! Exactly my point. It is very clear that Barry Allen is trying to make a move. Maybe this is good news! You two can stop messing around and finally work through your issues.” Felicity teased.

“Yeah no. Okay! Can we go now because I’m done talking about this and I desperately need out of these four walls.” Iris grabbed her purse before walking out of the door.

Kara and Felicity eventually followed. Their first stop was actually Kara’s apartment because she had to let her dog Krypto out to use the bathroom but then they decided to go to the new outlets since Kara needed a new dress for work and she never gave up the chance to get stuff to spoil her niece with.

After four stores and three hours of trying on ridiculous outfits, hats, and other accessories the trio ended up back in the car with only a few bags to spare with some snacks.

“Nora doesn’t need anymore clothes!” Iris protested as she chilled in the passenger's seat. “She already has half of my closet and six drawers full of clothes that she barely wears but refuses to let me get rid of.”

“Would I really be the type of aunt to not spoil my niece? No. Plus you’re acting like your dad and Barry don’t spoil her with everything she wants already.”

Felicity chimed in after there was a moment of silence, “She’s not lying Iris, Nora’s room at Barry’s place is decked out in all types of toys and things. She even has one of those barbie doll houses you were trying to get last Christmas."

“You mean she has that FOUR-HUNDRED-DOLLAR doll house?!?! Why wasn’t I aware of this sooner?”

“I mean you did just say back at the house that you guys were just friends…well, acquaintances to say the least and the only reason that you’re even that is because of your daughter. I completely would get why he wouldn’t mention it.” Kara said while popping a chip into her mouth.

“That question wasn’t meant to be answered Kar.” Iris pouted.

“Sorry. But speaking of Nora, I get you hate to take her shopping and all because she gets a little…a little…what’s the word??”

“Hyper.”

“…Hyper yes! But Fel and I would’ve liked to hang out with our niece. You could’ve brought her and still gotten out of the house.”

“She’s not wrong.”

Iris shook her head, “You guys know you’re welcome at the loft whenever to hangout. And...I thought he would be open to spending more time with Nora, which he was.”

Kara shrugged as she started the car. “I’m just surprised that he accepted after that meta he fought a couple days ago.”

“What kind of meta was it?!” Iris said with worry hinted in her voice. They may not be together but she still cared for him and she had just let their daughter go over there.

“Kara…” Felicity said while shaking her head. “Well I already said something now! I forgot I wasn’t supposed to talk about it.”

“Guys. What happened!?!??”

Hesitantly Felicity responded, “It was just a meta fight, he got a little injured, I promise you he’s fine.”

Iris couldn’t help but feel guilty and her face showed it too. “Hey. Barry is a father first and foremost. Before he’s the Flash, or a CSI, or even a boyfriend. And he’s pretty good at it too. He wouldn’t ever put his life at high risk because he knew who he would be leaving behind. Now, can we pleaaase go get some lunch because ya girl is hungry.” Kara joked which made Felicity and Iris laugh as well. “Yeah, I mean you’re the driver Kar!”

“Oh right.” she chuckled.

\----

They ended up going to a small lunch café not far from Iris’s loft. Iris used to come here all the time when she pregnant. Almost anytime she went she always felt a little bit of nostalgia, but this was the first time she had been since the first mediation meeting with Barry. It was the first time they had finally agreed on something since the split.

_“No more fighting, no arguing, we agreed on joint birthdays, but everything else can be separated if you want. It doesn’t matter to me.” Iris chimed in lightly while bouncing a quiet sleepy Nora on her knee. _

_“We can do shared holidays too, I don’t mind. But hey Iris I just wanna say-“ _

_“Barry.” She cleared her throat. “I just want to make it clear incase it wasn't, but just know that you can see Nora whenever you want. I know we just agreed with basic seventy-thirty to get out of that god-awful place but I don’t want you to feel like you HAVE to follow that. If you wanna see her and it’s not your “day”, just let me know beforehand.” Iris said interrupting whatever he was about to say. _

_When Iris told Barry she wasn’t mad at him for how things ended she meant it (eventually). But now this was strictly about their daughter and making sure she was going to be taken care of. Not to mention Iris was closed off because she couldn’t bear the thought of being pained twice by the same person. She couldn't do that to her daughter either, which was the priority here._

_Barry could sense the theoretical wall she had built which he felt awful for. He knew that the trust that they used to have was no longer present. He knew he screwed up and there was no going back. He just wished she would listen when he would try to tell her how sorry he was. But he made sure she knew that he was going to be present and he wasn’t going anywhere for the sake of Nora. And boy did Iris hang onto that. _

“Iris!” she heard from behind her, which made her snap back into the present. “Are you coming?” She shook her head quickly, “Yeah, yeah, sorry it’s just been a while since I’ve been here that’s all.” When Felicity and Kara gave her a questionable look Iris responded with a brief smile, “You guys ready to eat?”

\----

Over with Nora and Barry things were going well. They had stopped for some donuts and ran into Kara and Felicity which was a nice surprise. They briefly chatted, then Barry took Nora to the park on the other side of town for a little while before grabbing some lunch. The car ride home wasn’t too long and Nora was entertained and being really talkative but Barry didn’t mind it at times because it reminded him a lot of Iris, and most importantly it allowed him to get to know his daughter in a way. Although, sometimes she had too many questions that not even Barry knew how to answer. They were almost back to Barry’s house when Nora dropped one of her unanswerable questions.

“Hey Daddy? How come you don’t wive with mommy and me anymore? Isn't that your home too?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is shorter than I thought it was going to be. I know this chapter is bad but it needed to happen one way or another for later purposes. But let me know what you think. :) Next chapter will focus heavily on Barry's POV and things so stay tuned.
> 
> ~twitter - dansenswest.~


	3. oh, hey you.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barry gets caught off guard, Nora asks questions about superheros, and Iris receives a questionable text that conflicts with her emotions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M BACK! I know it's only been like a week but I had a lot of personal things to deal with, therefore, writing was sidelined for the time being and also a case of writer's block is never fun. Anyways, here is the chapter that i've rewritten like six times. It's not great, but will it ever be? Probably not, but hopefully it'll be worth it as the story rolls on. 
> 
> So enjoy? (also not Beta'd so please don't mind grammar/spelling mistakes)

“Umm. You see Nora, your mother and I thought it was best if we didn’t live with each other and love each other from a distance.” Barry broke the silence that had stood momentarily after Nora dropped her bomb of a question.

“But whyyyyyy? Why can’t you two just wove each other in the same house?” The little one asked.

Barry didn’t exactly know how to answer the question. How do you explain to your five-year-old daughter about separation? How do you tell her that her mom and him got into a big fight that was too big to repair?

“You know what, let me ask your mom about that and I will get back to you. Okay?”

“Mommy isn’t going to anser you eifer, she always tells me to ask you.” She mumbled.

In that moment Barry felt like he was punched in the gut. Nora has asked about this before? Why didn’t Iris tell him?

“Maybe she’ll answer me this time.” He replied.

Luckily for Barry, the last few minutes of the car ride were quiet and there wasn’t any more questionnaires from Nora. It wasn’t like her to randomly drop so many side swiping questions but after all, she is getting older and she is the child of an Investigative reporter, clearly she was going to pick up some tactics as she grew but that didn’t mean Barry didn’t really know what to expect going forward.

Once they arrived back at Barry’s place, Ralph and Sue came over so they could get ready to go bowling but Sue insisted on taking Nora to the ice cream stand down the street before they went.

Barry hesitantly agreed. He knew Iris would never approve of that much sweets before dinner but he figured one time couldn’t hurt right? Ralph convinced him that Nora was here to have fun and ice cream usually means fun for a five-year-old. _Which, he wasn’t lying._

About ten or twenty minutes of chatter went by before Ralph and Sue left Barry’s place and Nora and Barry followed shortly after. Walking down the street Nora started to engage in a little conversation with Barry as if she hadn’t asked enough questions for today.

“Hey daddy, why does miss Sue call unckwle Ralph swtretch?“

He just glanced at Nora and let out a little laugh, he knew she couldn’t know the real reason Sue called Ralph stretch since she couldn’t know that himself or Ralph were two of the notorious superheroes in Central City. So, he had no choice but to respond with the next reasonable answer. “That’s her pet name for him.”

Nora just looked a little confused, “Why is it called a pwet name, he’s nwot a pet!”

“Well, no. Pet names are like nicknames.” Barry let out a giggle. Trying to keep up with Barry, Nora pampered him with more questions. “So why isn’t it called a nickname? Thwat makes no sense!”

“You’ll learn why when you’re older.”

“Do I hav one?”

“Have what?”

“A pwet name”

“Yes, of course you goof, your mother always calls you nugget. Even when you were a little itsie bitsie baby.” He said smiling at her.

Which was a true story. When Iris was pregnant, ending her second trimester, she craved nothing but chicken nuggets. It could be three in the morning or ten in the evening and Barry would have to speed around to find a place with good tasting chicken nuggets to suit her cravings. Jokingly one day, Barry called their baby a nugget which led to Nora being called nugget after she was born and it always stuck.

“Oh, WIGHT I LIKE THAT!” She cheered before noticing Ralph and Sue who were not far from where they were at. “but wook daddy, there’s ralph and miss Sue, can I go over to dem Pweaseee?! I wanna twalk to them about the movie I watched at mommy’s!”

Barry didn’t even wanna question what movie she was talking about. He carefully looked to actually make sure it was Ralph and Sue before he let her run down there. “Okay, go ahead…but please be careful and say excuse me okay?” She nodded before running off with a big smile on her face, one that brought a smile to his face.

“Oh my gosh! She’s gotten so big!” Barry heard a familiar voice coming from behind him. One that he could recognize anywhere. He stopped and turned when he saw Cisco’s girlfriend, Kamilla. “Hey! Kamilla! Hi!” He cheerfully greeted.

Kamilla and Cisco have been dating for awhile now, she used to work at CCPN back when Iris still worked there and they were all good friends. Even went on some double dates and game nights together before everything happened.

“Hey!” She responded as they embraced in a quick hug. “So sorry if I scared you, I thought I had recognized Nora and I was going to say hi but she ran off.” She let out a quiet chuckle.

“Oh yeah, well Ralph, Sue, Nora, and I were getting some ice cream before going bowling so. How are you? How’s working in Coast City? How is…” He stopped himself before finishing the rest of the question.

Kamilla could read his face without question. She knew exactly what he was going to ask. “Cisco is good if that is what you were going to ask, and I’m doing pretty good too. I just got back in town for the weekend, working on a story.”

“That’s amazing! You know if you’re ever trying to stay in Central City permanently Iris would let you on her staff, I’m pretty sure she’s short at the moment.”

“Oh? Are you two-“

“Not back together, still separated, single and single…I think.” He trailed. “But anyways, how is Cisco’s tech project coming along? I see him working on it but…y’know..”

Cisco and Barry haven’t been friends or even really talked to each other since Iris and Barry split. He was almost as mad at Barry for hurting Iris as Joe was. Anytime Barry tried to repair their friendship, Cisco gave him the cold shoulder. When they were at work he only talked to Barry about work things so their conversations were stern and short. Barry still greatly missed having his best friend around but after time he realized that some things weren’t forgivable. _Maybe this was one of the times._

“You two still aren’t talking?” 

“Other than for work related things? Nope. I’ve tried, he doesn’t budge.”

Kamilla shook her head as they continued to walk towards Nora. “I can talk to him if you want but he usually doesn’t budge with me either. You know how stubborn he is.”

Before Barry could say something in return Nora ran over to them with a cup full of cookies and cream ice cream with some of it already all over her face. “DADDY WOOK! UNCWLE RALPH GOT ME THISS!”

“That looks yum! Be careful not to spill it all over yourself now.”

“It is vwery yummy!” She excitedly cheered before noticing Kamilla was there, once she noticed she gasped loudly. “Kami! You’re back! Is uncwle Cisco wif you? I missed you guys!!”

She nodded, “Aww missed you too babe but unfortunately no, but I’m on my way over there very soon to see your uncle Cisco though! Speaking of, I should probably get going. It was nice seeing you though Barry, you should try coming around again, I know Cisco misses his other best friend.” She said giving him and Nora a quick hug before scurrying off.

Ralph and Sue joined the leftover duo not long after she walked away. “Hey was that Kamilla?” Sue asked lightly.

“Yep she’s back in town for the weekend….but are you guys ready for bowling?”

Nora nodded repeatedly while shoving ice cream in her mouth. “Yeah but we are actually waiting for Patty, I invited her last minute, I hope you don’t mind.” Ralph exclaimed. Barry just shook his head, “I love hanging out with friends so more the merrier.”

Ralph and Sue both nodded, “Well let’s go sit down while she eats so she’s not dripping ice cream everywhere.”.

___

Another ten-fifteen minutes went by while Nora chowed down her ice cream. They all joked around and Ralph did some not-so-good impressions which made Nora laugh, Barry and Sue decided to get a small cup of ice cream while they waited. Things were great, it was a much-needed time for Barry. He is usually always stressed out so having some time away to hang out with friends—family, is always enjoyable. _Even when he wishes that the other part of his family could be here with him. _

Once things had quiet down Nora started peppering everybody with questions again. Because boy was she a chatter box, a very energetic chatter box at that. Nora turned towards Barry with a face full of ice cream and a frown.

“What’s wrong Nora?” Barry started wiping her face with napkin.

“Why hasn’t mommy called ywet? She always calls me atweast twice when I’m not there”

Barry was actually wondering that too. It wasn’t like Iris to not call. She usually called at least two or three times a day to make sure Nora was okay and ask how things were going or to get the usual run down. He figured her day out was keeping her busy so he assured Nora the same, “Aw, don’t worry I’m sure her and your aunts are just busy. If she doesn’t call by the time we are done bowling, we can call her before bed, okay?”

“Otay.”

Barry smiled.

\--

Patty eventually arrived and the small group went bowling for a few hours, in between turns Barry decided to text Iris since the sun was setting and still no text or call. Which was a little abnormal for her.

_You alive? _

While they were there, Nora nearly dropped a bowling ball on Ralph foot a few times...Sue kept rolling the balls in the gutter, and Patty was destroying everyone with multiple spares and strikes. Barry was tied in between.

_Yeah, why do you ask?_

After they were almost out of money and confidence they bought a medium size pizza and some beer (sprite for Nora) and joked around about how everyone sucked at bowling. It was about an hour full of laughs and smiles. Barry thought about how needed this was and how happy he was that he could bring Nora to his favorite bowling place. If only she knew the backstory behind it.

_No call like usual, I didn’t know if you were still out with Felicity and Kara or? Nora missed you though :l_

Once the pizza was gone Ralph convinced everyone to buy one more game, Nora started getting cranky by this time and started her usual peppering of questions. This time it was a discussion about meta humans, Barry was caught off guard yet again and no text back from Iris.

“Hey daddy, do you fink awiens are real? Wike other than the fwash and ewongated man?”

“Sure, maybe. The world is a big place.”

“Noooo wike here in Cental City!”

“I don’t think so babe. Here finish your food before we leave.” He gave her a quick smile. She just shrugged before chewing on her leftover pizza. If there was one thing Barry needed to discuss with Iris during their lunch, it was about Nora’s inquisitiveness she had gained just over the last few weeks.

_Still no text back._ By this time Barry decided to pocket his phone and finished off another beer and enjoy their last few rounds. After they wrapped up that game, they all went their separate ways and Nora fell asleep on the walk home.

They was a little over halfway home his phone finally pinged.

_Oh, Sorry. if Nora is still awake I’ll call her before bed. K?_

Something in the tone of the text didn’t settle right with Barry, Iris was never a person to use the word “K” In response to someone, so he pocketed his phone once again and continued to carry Nora all the way home.

\---

Iris was lying in bed after a very long day. She was a little bit tipsy from the bar and probably had over twenty bags of clothes her nor Nora needed but she enjoyed her day out with two of her best friends. Even if she really missed her daughter. Her day off parenthood reminded her that she should probably let herself take a break every once and a while and not worry so much all the time.

By the time Iris got home Nora was asleep, which kind of made Iris sad because she wanted to say goodnight but Barry assured Iris she had a fun time and was just exhausted after all the walking.

After Iris indulged in another hot shower for the second time today, she noticed Barry had texted her a rundown of her day and even added a side joke about how Nora had inherited Iris’s great ability to get answers out of people. They joked around for a few minutes via text and it made Iris realize that It was times like this that makes her miss what used to be.

About thirty minutes or so went by as they continued to joke around with each other,

_Nora really dropped a bowling ball on Ralphs foot? Sounds like your daughter LOL. _

Yeah, well almost. Hahaha and it was ONE-time Iris. We were fifteen.

_Still counts. and when she wakes up please have her call me. I missed her today. Sad I didn't get to say goodnight. :(_

It was not even one day! Oh how much time had passed. <<Sarcasm btw>> Will do though (:

_Oh shush, this is the first time in awhile I went without calling all day…Let me have this one pls. _

Alright. You can have this one but I think I’m going to hit the sheets. Our daughter is sooo energetic lol. She wore me out with all the questions.

_Tell me about it, but alright. Please don’t forget to call in the morning! And give her kisses goodnight for me!_

Yeah yeah got it. Oh, and Iris.

_Yeah?_

Nora wasn’t the only one who missed you tonight. (: 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed, remember that I always appreciate the feedback, it helps me grow as a writer. I know the two last chapters have been kind of messy but hopefully with my whim of inspiration the next one seems more put together? Anyways feel free to comment/like or even tweet me. My twitter is pretty dry lol. 
> 
> ~ Twitter-dansenswest~


	4. ahaha. yep.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Iris kind of spirals as she deals with her complicated emotions, Cisco's not happy, and Iris prepares for her lunch "date" with Barry. Oh! And a quick flashback that sparks all the emotions. ;'(

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick little note: Some of the behavior is based off of what a friend told me in order to write this chapter. So if you think Iris is "overthinking" then that's probably why. I personally, have never been in a situation like this so I don't exactly know if one text message could spark so much at once?? *shrugs* anyways enjoy. 
> 
> **This chapter has been rewritten twice but there might still be errors**

Iris couldn’t stop thinking about that text.

‘_Nora wasn’t the only one who missed you tonight.’_

She hated that he said it. Well, more like she hated how she felt after he said it. Iris had tried her hardest these past couple years to focus on the only/main thing that mattered which was her, _their _daughter but in that moments time she wanted to text him back letting him know she missed him too. She was going to marry him at one point and now they are here_. How did they get here? _Was a thought that used to run through her head quite often. _What should she respond? How do you respond to your ex fiancé after they say they miss you??_ She had so many thoughts running through her head at once.

Instead of responding she just threw her phone on the nightstand across the room and didn’t touch it for the rest of the night.

\---

The next few days for Iris were weird. She found herself thinking about _him_ more often than she would like to admit. The way he easily clouds her mind was insane. _Which drove her crazy_. She threw herself into work for the rest of the weekend, only talking to Nora via FaceTime and before she knew it, it was Sunday evening and she was supposed to go pick up Nora in less than an hour.

“No. Nope. I’m not doing it this time; sorry Iris you already know we don’t get along.” Cisco stated as they were chilled on Iris’s couch. She may have asked him if he could do this trade off since he was staying over for dinner and she really just wanted to avoid Barry at all costs... “Pleaaase Cisco. I will owe you one!”

“Why don’t you wanna see him all of a sudden? You told me you guys were in an okay space and now it seems like you’re trying to avoid him.”

Iris tripped over her words trying to respond, “Yea- I- Well you see- Yep. Fine. We’re totally fine” Was the only thing she managed to get out. Cisco clearly wasn’t buying it, “What happened?”

She shook her head repeatedly. “Nothing.” The look on her face was one easily recognizable by Cisco, he knew she was definitely lying. “Iris.”

“Okay so he might’ve… practically…said he missed me when we were texting the other night.” She mumbled very quietly.

Iris couldn’t figure out why this messed with her so much. All weekend ONE text had messed with her head. _What if he wasn’t even talking about himself? Maybe he was talking about someone else? Maybe…yeah nope. _

“He said what?! Are you kidding me??? And you’re still trying to convince me that this lunch you’re about to go tomorrow is for strictly platonic reasons?”

Iris couldn’t fight what Cisco had said. Now that she thinks of it, could he had asked her to lunch for non-platonic reasons? Or maybe it really was just about co-parenting.

“I don’t know any more okay! A few days ago, we were fine. Great even! I mean I think…I don’t know!! Cisco I know little text shouldn’t had messed with as bad as it is but I do miss him, and I have for a while now I just…I don’t know…” She whined. _It shouldn’t have to be this complicated._

Cisco just sighed in frustration. “Iris, I love you to pieces and you know that but may I remind you the last time you were involved with Barry romantically…It didn’t end well at all. In fact, it ended with you calling me crying your eyes out because you were so upset. And now your daughter is older so she’s going to be able to tell if something is up….I will pick up Nora this time for you because I love you and you are my best friend BUT PLEASE don’t bite off more than you can chew. If things are great as they are, why mess with that? I just don’t want to see you get hurt. I can’t handle seeing you like that again.”

Cisco was right and Iris knew it (even if she didn’t wanna fully admit it). Things were fine the way they are between her and Barry so why should she mess with it. Nora needed to be both of their priorities and that is what she decided to focus on.

“Thank youuuu”

“Mmhm..Better be ordering that expensive pizza!”” He joked before leaving.

\----

Barry definitely wasn’t expecting Cisco to show up when it came time to the exchange. He knew Iris hadn’t answered any of his texts outside of when Nora video chatted with her but when he got those three knocks on the door, he hadn’t expected his ex-best friend to be there.

“Cisco!? Hey! Hi!” He said in shock.

“Here to pick up Nora…”

“Oh…” He tried to hide the disappointment in his voice, “Iris never mentioned that you were picking her up. Is she okay?”

Cisco leaned in the doorway before clearing his throat. “Yeah she’s just got a last-minute article to finish or whatever and I was on this side of town when she asked if I would pick up Nora for her. Sooo here we are.”

“Oh okay. Well you can come in if you want, Nora is upstairs. I will go see if she’s ready.”

Cisco didn’t respond he just nodded before stepping in. About five minutes went by before Nora came running down the stairs with her little backpack. “UNWCLE CISCOO!” She shouted running straight into his arms.

“Hey little one.”

“Where’s mommy?” She questioned once they broke the hug.

“She’s at your house. She had to do something real quick so I’m here to take you home!”

“otay fine wif me, as long as I get to pway the music in the car!” Nora’s giggle made Cisco crack a grin. “Fine. Only because you’re my star wars buddy tonight. Capeesh?”

“Capeesh!” she responded throwing her thumbs up in the air. Barry stood back and smiled quietly at this interaction.

Cisco and Nora have always been close. Their bond has been strong since Nora could walk. Every time the pair would interact it would remind Barry about the time when he asked Cisco to be Nora’s godfather, oh how that day was one of Barry’s favorite. He was so happy to ask his best friend…Who would’ve thought that not even three years later things would be so……divided.

“Well, we should get going. I still have to stop by and pick up Kamilla from her cousins house so,” Cisco said to Barry back to his usual firm tone. “Oh, okay. Well It was…It was nice seeing you outside of work for once, I hope you’re doing--.”

“Aaah! Let me stop you right there Barry…This was a favor I did for Iris. That’s it. Things wouldn’t be this way if you didn’t….” He stopped himself when he remembered that Nora was in the room and she didn’t know about the big blow out. “…if you didn’t do what you did and you know that. I don’t need any of this fake ‘hey howya doing?’ nonsense. Okay? So please…do not even start.” Cisco said calmly…scary calmly. It brought Barry back to the day after the incident.

_It was a rough day at work for Barry, after the big blow out he just had with Iris this weekend he almost called off. Instead he picked himself up and dragged himself to his lab. He already felt guilty about how things went down. Barry knew he was out of line blowing up in Iris’s face like that when all she did was try to help him. He didn’t know why he did what he did. But at this point, there was no taking anything back. _

_So, you can imagine how much worse he felt when an angry Cisco stormed into his lab that Monday morning. _

_“What the hell is wrong with you?!” _

_Barry sighed, “Look Cisco I don’t wanna-“ _

_“No. I’m going to need you to zip it and listen for a minute. Do you know how it feels to have one of your best friends call you at midnight crying so hard that she can barely breathe?” He interrupted, “Do you know how that feels??!! Hearing someone be so upset…Because I can tell you right now Barry it is not a lovely feeling. So, what the hell is your problem? And why did you hurt her so badly?” _

_At this moments time he felt as if a knife had dug deeper into his chest. He could vividly picture Iris crying that hard and it only made him feel more guilty. “I know what I did was wrong okay! Don’t have to make feel worse about it…I don’t know what happened I just…got overwhelmed…” _

_“Breaking someone’s heart isn’t being overwhelmed Barry! Did you even think before you spoke? Because quite frankly I don’t know how I could look someone in the face after being told what you told Iris. And that infuriates me! Why? Because not only am I watching my best friend go through something horrific. I also have a niece who is wondering why her dad isn’t coming back.” _

_“If I could take it back I would okay! But I can’t and I don’t need you to sit here and make me feel worse about it.” Barry said choking up. He never imagined that the worse of the worse would happen. He always imagined himself living a happy life with a loving family in a nice cliché suburban house. Instead he got a broken engagement, a daughter to co parent, and two dead parents…Life wasn’t checking out for Barry these days._

“Okay. Sorry, I’ll see you soon okay Nora?” Barry said snapping back into reality. He decided today was not the day to try to mend their broken friendship. “Otay, bye daddy!” The little one said before the pair left. Barry was left with a lot to think about.

\---

Cisco picked up Kamilla and then they all went over to Iris’s place and had a little movie night as per usual. Iris tried to keep her mind off the fact her and Barry were supposed to go to lunch tomorrow but as of late, _she was failing. Tragically if she may add._

_\---_

Monday afternoon came around a lot faster than Iris would have liked it to. Nora was off with Joe and baby Jenna for the day and Iris was at her office finishing up her last article when her phone buzzed.

_Still on for lunch? _

Iris exhaled loudly. A part of her wanted to cancel and say ‘Oh I’m too busy’ but then she remembered he said he needed to talk about Nora and if he was telling the truth then she needed to get out of her feelings and just go. Hesitantly she responded,

_Yep. Almost done with this article. Jitters right? _

That was another thing that frustrated Iris in a way, out of all the places Barry had to chose to meet at he chose Jitters. The one place she had refused to go to because of all the memories that followed.

_Yep. (: _

“There goes that damn smiley face.” She mumbled not realizing that she mumbled it out a little loud.

“What’s wrong with smiley faces?” Iris jumped at the sound of a familiar voice, “Kara?”

“Heyyoo!” She responded with a giggle as she entered Iris’s office with a big smile plastered across her face. Kara’s office is in the same building at Iris’s and Ralph’s. Although, Ralph and Iris never run into each other anymore Iris still liked having people who she knew around.

“What are you doing here?! You said you were going out of town for a few days!” Iris asked while pulling her into a quick hug.

“Yeah well my sister had a work emergency so I figured I swing by and actually write some of my articles from the office that I never use. Buuut aside from the point, what’s wrong with smiley faces? You love smiley faces remember? _Not when they’re from your ex fiancé who you have complicated feelings for._ “I do, but this is…different.” She lightly laughed while fidgeting with her pen.

“It’s about Barry?”

Iris yanked her head up, “Is it that obvious?”

“Iris, we’ve been best friends for years. You really think I don’t know when your referencing Barry? Also, you’re fidgeting, you never fidget unless you’re nervous and don’t think I forgot that you’re having lunch with Barry today. So, it’s like two plus two.” She shrugged grabbing a twizzler from the jar munching on it quietly.

Iris didn’t even notice she was swinging her pen back and forth. It was a frequent habit of hers when she was nervous at times. Started a few years ago, she just couldn’t find a way to stop. “I hate that you know me so well.” She gave her a fake pout.

“What are you so nervous about? It’s just a lunch Iris. What could go wrong?” _Well everything could go wrong and things were awkward as it is. If only you knew._ Iris just sat there playing with her pen in silence.

“Did something happen?” Kara finally asked.

“Well…kind of, not really. I guess so? We were talking the night after I got home from hanging out with you and Felicity and he said he missed me. I probably read into too much but it’s been messing with me all weekend. ” She huffed.

“Oooh I get that…look Iris, I know you’re usually the one to give all the good advice out but maybe you should just sit and hash out all these problems you two have.. You have been separated for almost three years and you guys haven’t talked about what happened once. Maybe it’s time you do so that way you both can move forward. Now whether that’s with each other or not is up to you guys.”

Kara was right. Lately everyone seemed right, but Iris didn’t know whether or not she wanted to reopen wounds that took her awhile to close. “Maybe you’re right. But as of right now my priority is Nora. Which is why I’m even going to this lunch anyways. Speaking of, I’m about to be late.” She mumbled after looking at her computer screen.

After a few more minutes of quick chatter Iris and Kara hugged goodbye. Kara made Iris promise her that she would call and let her know how things went. And suddenly It wasn’t long before Iris was standing in front of the CC Jitters doorway. "You can do this Iris. Remember it's just a casual lunch." She exhaled before stepping inside.

It wasn’t hard to spot him once she was in. He had on his usual flannel and jeans. This time he also wore these new big ole round glasses in which Iris couldn’t deny he looked cute. “Hey! Hope I wasn’t keeping you waiting the article I was writing took a little bit longer than expected” she lied greeting him with a small smile.

“Oh, you're fine. I’ve only been here like three or four minutes. I just ordered me a cup of coffee, did you want anything? Should I had ordered you what you used to get? Do you even still drink the same order? I can go and order you something else if you want.” He started to nervously ramble while rubbing the back of his neck...Iris could sense the nervousness and awkward body language. This is the first time the pair would be sitting down and talking one on one without Nora so the tension was definitely there. 

“Uh no, it’s fine. I’ll go order in a minute but you said you wanted to talk about Nora so let’s talk..” She said looking him in the eyes for the first time in a while_. _It was no lie that both of them usually would avoid eye contact at all cause. Barry did it to avoid looking at the hurt in her eyes. Iris avoided it because of the memories it brought. So if eye contact was made, it was usually serious. 

He cleared his throat then looked back at her, “Yeah…right, right. Where do you wanna begin?” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aah, hope you enjoyed this chapter. I really wanted to push Cisco as the whole protective best friend so I hope it flowed well and came off correctly lol. Things are starting to pick up now and there will be angst. But there might also be happy moments too. Remember, feedback is always appreciated! :p 
> 
> twitter - dansenswest


	5. you don't get to do that.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lunch happens. Memories are brought up. Iris learns some good news.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so sorry for inactivity... I had a lot going on + my laptop was acting weird and I lost files, then writers block, etc. anyways I'm here with the long awaited lunch "date". Some things might seem to not fit well considering I rewrote this last night based on a half written outline and no rereading my own chapters haha. 
> 
> *will be edited soon*

“You’re the one who wanted to meet, you can pick first.” Iris said, leaning in her chair comfortably.

Barry gave her a small nod in response. “Well you said Nora was having nightmares and I haven’t noticed her having any, so how about we start there. Has she talked about her nightmares?”

“Yes, she’s…told me what they’ve been about.”

The sudden worry on Iris’s face concerned him but before he could ask what it was the server brought over his coffee. Iris sat looking at Barry quietly. Once they were alone again, Barry spoke, “What are they about?”

She leaned in slightly before whispering, “They’ve been about Thawne, Barry.”

Barry felt like he’d been punched in the stomach, multiple times. “How the hell does she even know about Thawne? She was not even a year old when he was around…Why am I just knowing about this?” He said raising his voice before lowering it when he noticed the few people in the Café were starting to look at them.

Iris shrugged as a response. “I don’t know, but every time I would try to bring it up you told me I was just being overprotective. What else was I supposed to do Barry. I can’t just take her to a therapist. ”

Barry rubbed his temples out of frustration. He wasn’t mad at Iris for not mentioning that Nora’s nightmares were about Thawne _because it was his fault for her not saying anything._ But he was frustrated that even till this day Thawne was still messing with him, even if it was just in a dream. He always had that type of hold on Barry and his loved ones. “How come she hasn’t mentioned these to me?”

“Not to go there, but maybe it’s because she doesn’t see you that often Barry. She’s smart, she knows how to cover how she’s feeling. She probably doesn’t want you to be consumed by it while you have her. She’s there to have fun.” Although it a hurt a little when Iris said that he knew it was probably true. There had plenty of instances where Nora said she was okay but then Barry would catch her being sad or angry in her room the same night.

“So how exactly do we help her. A regular therapist isn’t going to be the most helpful given our…situation.”

Iris shrugged In response, “she hasn’t been screaming and crying as much so maybe they’re getting better. But she is definitely starting to ask more questions about it.”

“Alright, I can see if I can do or find anything to help…But speaking of our inquisitive daughter, she’s been questioning our living arrangement a lot lately. Which at first caught me off guard, but it got me thinking, maybe once my lease is up we could look for a bigger place and live together. It would be beneficial to not only Nora but to both of us. I wouldn’t have to waste gas driving across town, I could also see Nora more and it would be helpful to you because then you wouldn’t have to do it all alone during the week or workday.”

Iris’s eyes widened hearing that. She slowly shook her head. “I don’t think that’s a good idea Barry. If distance is an issue then why don’t you just try to move closer to this side of town once your lease is up? I’ll be more than happy to assist if finances are a problem.”

Barry let out a sigh, “You don’t get it do you?”

“I get it alright but may I remind you what happened the last time we lived under the same roof. We aren’t a couple Barry, we’re co-parents. We have a running schedule and I even told you that you can come over and hangout with Nora all you want. But I don’t think we need to go down that road or even a similar one again.”

Truth of the matter was, Iris was scared. She was scared of getting hurt again. Did she miss him? Of course. Does she still love him? Yes, she always will _and she made that clear the day she told him she would marry him_. But she couldn’t bear the thought of getting hurt twice.

And now their daughter is older and asking more questions, Iris knew that Nora (and herself) didn’t need all that extra stress. Trying to date and make it work would only complicate things if it didn’t work out. She couldn’t do that to herself or her child.

“How much longer are you going to push me away? You think I didn’t know you were avoiding me when you sent Cisco of all people to pick Nora up? C’mon Iris I’m trying here and it feels like you’re pushing me away. ”

Iris shook her head in disbelief, “No, you don’t get to do that. You don’t get to say that either, Remember you’re the one who left me.” She whispered quietly. “You sent that text the other night as if it we ended our relationship civilly or something._ You_ pushed me away first, then _you_ left. You don’t get to be mad if I don’t wanna go down that route again. You have to remember there is someone else in the picture who’s now old enough to remember things like this. I can’t and I won’t do that.” At this point Iris had tears glossing over her eyes.

“I understand I fucked up Iris big time, but when are you going to forgive me and allow me to get close again. It’s been almost three years. I’m tired of feeling strained from my family. We don’t do family events aside from joint birthdays--which even then are admittedly awkward, we barely talk or communicate unless Nora is in the room or it’s about transportation plans, just think about it, would you have came here today if I didn’t insist it was to fully talk about Nora?”

Iris wanted to lie and say maybe because she knew that this conversation would go one of two ways. She would either end up having to reopen wounds she really didn’t wanna reopen or she would end up hurting his feelings which she never wants to do regardless of their history.

“…I…I don’t know.” She whispered letting out a small sigh. “Look, if you want to be more involved we can make that happen but as co parents. Believe it or not but I don’t like this rift between us either and I want you to be Involved in Nora’s life more. So, if you want to start doing more things are a family unit then fine but you gotta realize it’s going to be baby steps for me Barr.”

Barry nodded before growing a small smile.

“What?”

“Nothing…it was just, you just… you haven’t called me Barr since, well you know.”

Iris’s cheeks grew hot, she hadn’t even realized that she said that, “Sorry….old habit and everything.”

They both sat in a dead silence for a few minutes before Iris realized that her lunch break would be ending soon and she needed to get back to her office. “Well, I should get back. I have a lot to do still and then I have to pick up Nora from my dad’s so…”

“Yeah yeah, of course. Thank you for showing up. Means a lot.”

She nodded in response. She was on her way out when she stopped and turned. There was something that she needed to say. “Hey Barry?”

“Yeah?”

“I meant what I said…About you coming around more. Just give me a little more time.”

“Of course.”

____

By the time Iris got back in the office she was emotionally drained. The last thing she expected was her baby brother and her best friend to be awaiting in her office when she walked through her door. “Wally?!”

“Surprise!” He walked up to her and gave her a huge hug. Iris wasn’t expecting him to be here until tomorrow, this definitely made her day better. “I thought you guys weren’t going to make it in until tomorrow?” She said while hugging Linda.

“Your brother wanted to surprise you…Also we couldn’t wait to share the big news!” Linda cheerfully uttered.

“What’s the big news?” Iris looked at her brother then back at Linda as she sat down in her chair. They both started smiling really big with a few giggles before they both said, “We’re engaged!”

Iris about choked on her water when she heard the news. “Oh my god!! Congratulations you two!!” She cheered while giving them another round of hugs. “This is amazing! I’m so…happy for you guys!” And happy she was, for the most part at least. _A little part of her couldn’t help but hurt at the memory of excitement from when she got engaged. _

“Wait till dad hears about this! He’s going to be soo happy!” She said with excitement. ‘Oh how these next few months were going to eventful’ she thought to herself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \-- Sorry for such a short chapter. I am halfway done with six which is probably my favorite so far. And I know the ending kinda seems thrown in there but it's thrown in there for a good reason...so TRUST ME!--
> 
> Thanks for all the reviews! The overwhelming amount of support I've gotten for this story has meant so much to me. Never thought it would more than a handful of reads if we are being honest. 
> 
> Feel free to keep leaving feedback. It helps me grow as a writer! :)
> 
> twitter - dansenswest


	6. i still care about you.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> things happen. 
> 
> \-- lot's of sad vibes but lot's of Iris POV!

It had been about three weeks since the very eventful Monday Iris had and she was doing alright. Her and Linda had been talking nonstop about the wedding while she was in town. Which much to everyone’s surprise it was coming up sooner rather than later. Linda making Iris the maid of honor didn’t come as much of a shocker to anyone given they had been friends since forever. But it did mean Iris had something to distract her in her free time. Her and Nora had been helping Linda out quite often.

Nora’s nightmares were slowly starting to become less chaotic within the last few nights. Nora would talk about the reverse flash being in her dreams but it wasn’t as gory as the usual. Iris was taking the progress which was something that seemed to be consistent as of late.

Barry and Iris also had started talking more regularly. By the third week he started to be a little distant at times but Iris didn’t question it given this was a lot at once for her, so she figured it was the same case for him. Things were good or well okay at least. She felt like for the first time in nearly three years she was making some positive progress instead of running around in circles constantly. 

_But that didn’t last long. _

It was the following Friday that things started to feel way off. Barry hadn’t returned any of her calls or texts about picking up Nora or about the family dinner Iris had attempted to plan. She had a weird aching suspicion that something else was up but she thought she was being paranoid. _Afterall, her relationship with her ex was changing rapidly and she was still processing everything._ _So, like no reason to be overreacting right?_

But then he didn’t show up to their usual meeting spot for the exchange. That’s when that feeling that something was wasn’t okay started to resurface. It wasn’t like him to ignore calls or texts _AND_ be late. Out of all the years she has known Barry Allen, he’s never been late without a call or text letting the person know. This is when she assumes she’s just being paranoid once again even though deep down she still knew Barry…and this wasn’t like him at all.

~

“Where’s daddy?” Nora questioned as she sat on Iris’s lap. At this point he was over twenty minutes late. The sun was getting ready to set soon and the weather started to decrease. Iris continued to push down that uneasy feeling. An uneasy feeling that felt all too familiar.

It was seven twenty-three when Nora started getting tired and cranky. “He’s never lateee…Is daddy even comingggg? Im hungryyy.” she whined.

“I’m sure he’s just running late nugget. You know your dad is not a very punctual person. ”

“Or he forgot.” Nora replied snuggling up closer to Iris.

“He couldn’t ever forget about you Nora. Don’t say that.”

“Just saying..”

Twenty minutes had passed…then thirty…It was ongoing forty-five minutes and two failed calls that pushed Iris to call Ralph. He picked up within the first few rings.

_ Hello? _

_Hey Ralph, _

_ Iris. It’s been a long time since I’ve gotten a call from you. _

_Yeah, I know it’s been a minute and I hate that I am calling you under these circumstances but Barry was supposed to come pick up Nora for the weekend almost an hour ago and he hasn’t showed up yet. I was wondering if you knew what was going on. I know you two are close nowa-_

_ Noo..nope, I actually haven’t heard from him in a…day or two. Maybe three?. But hey look Iris I have to go. I’ll text you or something. if I hear anything.. _

_Okay tha-_ but before she could get the end of her sentence out the call disconnected.. She called her dad to see if by chance he did forget and was working late at CCPD but then Joe told her that he left hours ago and hadn’t heard from him since. That was when Iris knew something was off for real.

“Okay c’mon Nora.”

“Where are we going?” she asked sleepily.

“You’re going to go hangout with papa Joe and Uncle Wally until I can see where your dad is.”

The fear that was easily built up in Nora’s voice felt like a punch in the gut to Iris. “Is daddy hurt? Did the bad crwiminals get him or was I rwight and he forgot about me?”

Giving Nora a couple kisses on her forehead Iris reassured her daughter, “No…You know your dad isn’t in the field like papa Joe. I’m sure he just lost track of time, I promise nothing bad happened babe and he definitely didn’t forget about you. Trust me, he could never.”

\--

“We have a problem.” Ralph said as he entered the med bay in a panicked state. “What could possibility be worse then what we are dealing with Ralph?” Caitlin and Patty glanced from their computer screen to an unconscious Barry who was extremely pale and appeared to be beat up.

“Iris called.”

“Why’d she call?”

“Sorry but who’s…Iris?” Patty questioned since she was out of the loop. Patty started working at star labs after Barry and Iris split and since Iris barely came around here anymore, Barry didn’t think there was a point in introducing her to his family, aside from when they all hangout and he has Nora.

Ralph let out a big sigh, “Barry’s ex fiancée and Nora’s mother blah blah blah. I don’t have time to fill you in on all these details. The point is she called and said it was his time with Nora and he never showed up.”

“So, what did you tell her?”

“Nothing, I just said I had to go. I panicked okay!”

Caitlin sighed. Everyone knew that Iris knows Barry like the back of her hand. Caitlin didn’t know how she was going to respect Barry’s wishes now. “Look before Barry passed out he made it very clear that he didn’t want her or Nora around or finding out about what happened. So…you guys gotta make sure that she does exactly that until he can heal!”

“Are you out of your mind! This is Iris we are talking about here. Any lie we tell she is easily going to be able to tell that we’re lying. Maybe we should screw his wishes and tell her like I suggested when he dragged himself in here in the first place.”

“Well what if we don’t have to.” Patty chimed in.

“What do you mean?” Caitlin and Ralph both said at the same time.

“I mean if she knows him as well as what you guys are saying then where would be the first place she would go to check on him?” Patty suggested with a bit of irritation in her voice. Caitlin looked at Ralph who had looked at Caitlin. “Barry’s apartment.”

“Okay, so what if Ralph goes to the apartment to stall her why we try to at least wake him up. I mean, it’s not the greatest plan but it’s something and right now, something seems better than nothing.” She shrugged.

Caitlin glanced at Ralph who had a knowing look on his face. Ralph eventually caved. “Fine.”

\----

It was nearly eight thirty by the time Iris made it through traffic to the other side of town. Iris didn’t know why she nervous, she’s been here a million times. _Maybe it’s because she’s nervous of the outcome?_ You know there’s a chance he’s fine (which would be a miracle) but then Iris would be pissed off for worrying her and Nora but then there’s the other option which is that something could be wrong and god knows Iris couldn’t go through that, again, so she hopes it’s the first one.

She took a deep breathe before knocking on the door. “Barry!?”

_No answer._ She knocked again.

“Barr, are you in—”

“Iris!” Ralph said, of all people. _Why was he there? He said he hadn’t seen Barry?_ Iris had a million and one questions.

“Ralph. What are you doing here?”

“Barry called shortly after you did. So…how can I help you?”

“Is he here? I need to talk to him.” Her heart started to pound. “Yes…but…he’s…sleeping.”

Iris couldn’t help but look at him with a ‘you think I’m dumb don’t you?’ face. “He’s sleeping at eight thirty? You’re talking about my Barry, the one who stays up almost all hours of the night?”

“Yep.”

“Ralph.”

He gulps. She knows he’s hiding something; I mean she knew when he wouldn’t open the door all the way but now the suspicion was eating at her. “You have four seconds to move out of the way.”

Iris was about to push him aside when he slid right in front of her. “I can’t let you do that Iris. Sorry.”

Her heart started to pound even harder. _This situation was feeling all too familiar._ “Ralph what is going on! Where is Barry?”

When he didn’t respond that uneasy feeling she’s had all day suddenly made sense. “He’s not here is he?”

“…No. But, I can assure you that he is safe and-“ Iris didn’t wanna hear that. She wanted to know where he was at, and since Ralph kept dodging the question she knew exactly where he was.

“He’s at star labs.” She mumbled to herself before she turned to exit. “Iris, wait!” She heard in the distance as she made her way down the flight (of very long) stairs.

_Why would Barry be there and not wanting her to know what was going on? Why didn’t he show up? Why? Why? Why?_ Iris was filled with questions and she definitely wasn’t getting enough answers.

The short drive to star labs felt like eternity and the last few rows of traffic were not helping.

~

She stood in front the building. Star Labs.. the place Iris despised the most. She hadn’t been here in months and even when she was here, it was so she could help Felicity or Kara with work.

Deep down, she’s always hated this place. If it wasn’t for them saving Barry’s life and the few special memories it held Iris wouldn’t had minded if it was burnt down. But I guess it holds a little too much sentimental value to ever be completely gone.

Luckily she still had her key card to get in the building. What she didn’t expect to see when she got there was an unconscious Barry lying in the med bay with noticeable bruises.

“Iris. You…weren’t suppose to be here…” Caitlin trails as she comes out of her lab with complete shock on her face “Is..is..is he okay?” Iris said as felt tears gloss over in her eyes. She was having flashbacks to the last time.

_Iris entered the med bay that early afternoon because her and Barry were supposed to be going baby shopping. Iris had protested against the idea of going all out for the baby but after some convincing, Iris gave in and they decided to go when they both were off work for the day…but as usual, flash duties delayed their outing. _

_Which is why she thought she was going to cause an early labor when she walked in and saw Barry lying there barely breathing. The panic consumed her as she rushed in the med bay. “What is going on?? Caitlin? Cisco? Oh god…this is my worst nightmare I can’t I- I can’t…” she said she tried to hold back the tears that weren’t falling down her face. _

_Cisco had rushed to her side before managed to crash into the wall. “Iris, everything is going to be okay, alright? His speed healing kicked in and everything is going to be okay…I promise I won’t let him die.” _

_After Cisco reassured her and brought her down the lounge she calmed down hoping (and even praying) that nothing would happen because there was no well in hell she was going to be a single parent. Not when her and Barry’s life together just started._

She felt dizzy in this moment even thinking about that day. It was one she hated to think about. “What-what happened? Is this why he didn’t show up? Because he was hurt? Why didn’t you call me Caitlin? I-“ Iris had panic in her voice but also fear. She spent so much time cursing him under her breathe for something to actually be wrong.

“Iris…Barry made me promise not to tell you. He- He didn’t want to freak you out.”

“I don’t care what we wanted! This is Barry! The father of my child and and one of the people I care about the most! Why didn’t you tell me!” Iris could feel anger boil up but also fear. It seems to be a trending thing; things start getting good and then they all tumble down right when Iris feels like she’s actually going somewhere.

“Hey, she was just doing what he asked, I get being panicked but we are trying everything to make him better so..” Patty said exiting the lab right behind Caitlin. Caitlin’s eyes widened. If there was one known thing that almost everyone knew, it was don’t cross Iris when she’s upset or mad because it never ends well.

“And who the hell are you?”

“Okay! Look, let’s not fight alright. Iris, this is Patty, she’s a fellow friend who helps out here. Let’s keep our focus on Barry alright. He should be awake soon.”

Iris bit down on any jealously she was feeling because this was most certainly not the time for it to be peaking out. She didn’t know of a Patty and quite frankly she didn’t care (okay that was lie she did a little bit but again, not the time)

“How’d this happen?” She said brushing the tears out of her eye. “There was a meta attack downtown, we don’t know much about what happened other than this meta had extremely strong metal.” Patty said.

“Sounds like Central City…” Iris mumbled. “When will he be awake?”

“Should be shortly, he’s already making progress.”

Iris sighed out of exhaustion. “I’m going to go call Nora. If anything happens while I’m gone please let me know.” Caitlin just nodded in response before Iris walked out of the room. _Today totally blows._

~

“_Is Daddy otay?”_

_“Yes nugget, he’ll be fine. He’s just sick but there are some really smart doctors trying to make sure he heals correctly so he should good very soon.”_ Iris fibbed. She knew she wasn’t in the right for that but how do you tell your five-year-old that her dad is a superhero and the bad guys nearly killed him. There really wasn’t a viable option here.

_“When are you coming to get me? Unwcle wally and Auntie Linda are bweing sooo mushy and Jenna is being anoying.” _

Iris chuckled a little bit. ‘mushy’ is Nora’s way of saying sappy since when she struggled and kept saying stappy instead of sappy. _“I’ll be there tomorrow morning to pick you up okay? In the meantime, please behave and be nice to Jenna.”_

_“Tomoowo is sooo faaarr but otay. I will be good.” _

_ “Alright, I love you nugget.”  _

_“wove you too.” _

And then the phone disconnected.

~

She didn’t leave his side.

Although she was feeling all types of things and went through half of the five stages of grief (in terms of emotions) in the three hours she sat there. But, she kept it together, enough so she would be okay when he decided to wake up. What was she going to say once he did wake up? _Oh hey, I know things are rough right now, but please don’t die hahaha. Yeah no, she was spiraling. She hated that he could make her spiral._

She was so deep in her thoughts she didn’t notice that he opened his eyes.

“I-Iris?” He winced as he tried to get up. “Hey, Hey, Hey, you’re not going anywhere! You were just seriously injured!” She said with concern but also a bit of anger. He just felt back again the bed and they just sat there in silence for a good five minutes afterwards.

“I’m sorry…”

“For? There’s kind of a list at the moment.” She said with a dry humorless laugh. “A list? Oh wow. It’s been a while since I’ve-“ He coughed. “..Been on any list of yours.” She laughed as her eyes glossed over with tears once again. _He remembers the stupid three list. _

The fact that Barry Allen still has that hold on her and is able to make her laugh and smile is a curse but Iris really needed a light moment right about now so she’s not too upset about it. “it’s not funny, you were seriously hurt.”

“I know Iris...”

“So why tell them to keep it from me?”

The thick layer of silence felt suffocating. Iris wanted him to say something, anything. It felt like an excruciating two minutes before he finally said spoke again. “I remembered how shaken up you were last time. Things are…or were going good for us, for the first time in forever I felt like we were making positive progress y’know? I didn’t want it to bring back those feelings…I guess. I’m sorry I shouldn’t had done that.”

“It would’ve been w-worse if…if the worst would’ve happened and I wouldn’t had known. I would’ve never forgiven myself for that. Cause even after all this time Barry, I-“ She stopped and just sighed. “I still care about you Barry.”

Now this time it was his eyes that glossed over. _Oh, how they both were huge sensitive people… _“And Nora…” Iris scoffs. “Nora thinks you forgot about her.”

“I could never forget about her.”

“I told her that.”

“Where is she? She’s not here is she?”

“Oh god no, sorry but you know I hate this place. I would not bring her here.” Iris responded with a slight laugh. “She’s at my dad’s with Wally and Linda.”

But before their convo could keep going Caitlin walked in the room. “Sorry to interrupt this private this moment but I just wanted to run down everything to you before you go home. Now, ideally I would suggest you stay here for a good four or five days before trying to go home alone. You were seriously injured there-“

“What if I stayed with him?” Iris said accidentally interrupting Caitlin. This caught Barry and Caitlin offguard. “What?” Barry asked yanking his head to the side to look at Iris.

“Okay look, I have a panicked five year old who thinks her dad is at the hospital sick so if I stayed at your place until your able to manage on your own then she wouldn’t think much about it cause she’s still getting to spend time with you and I could make you sure you stay alive. It’s a win win for everyone here.”

Caitlin shrugged. “I mean that could work. If that’s the case then still basics, no flash business, take some power bars, and most importantly try not to move a ton. You could’ve easily broken your spine out there **_again. _**You’re lucky it’s just minorly bruised.”

Oh yes, how could they forget the time where zoom broke Barry’s spine_. That was a haunting moment to say the least._

“And If anything seems abnormal PLEASE call me asap. But other than that, you should be able to go in the morning…that’s if you decide to go, I don’t know what you guys are doing so.”

“Thank you Caitlin. I appreciate it, really.”

“No problem. Get better soon.” She shot him a friendly smile before exiting.

Iris let out a big breath of air. She felt like she could breathe for the first time in a couple hours. She was just trying to wrap her head around the last four or five hours when Barry decided to open another conversation. “Are you sure you want to stay at my apartment? You’ve barely stepped three feet in there.”

Iris bit her lip. He wasn’t lying, she had only actually been inside his apartment once maybe? “Yes. You heard Caitlin, if not you’re talking about days here. I still want you to see Nora even if it means you won’t be able to move around a whole lot. Plus, a little family bonding couldn’t hurt could it?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the disappearance. Life is not on my side these days. Anyways, this was a hard chapter to write but the good thing is, there will be cute fluffy domestic westallen with a side of awkwardness next chapter so yay? :)
> 
> Twitter -- @dansenswest


	7. i wish.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Domesticity. That's it. Just 2k+ words of pure domesticated west-allen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Between the holidays and just life, I have been busy. I apologize. I honestly should have a consistent update schedule soon.  
This chapter was a tough one to produce, mainly because I felt as if it wasn't good so I reconstructed my outline and then lack of motivation was no help. 
> 
> I don't usually listen to music to write but I listened to "Rather Die Young - beyonce", "Best thing I never ever had - beyonce", and "Getaway car- lea michele" to write this for motivation. It was a really big help!
> 
> Enjoy!

The car ride was awkward. It was silent. _Iris hated silence_, it reminded her too much of what all she lost and made her overthink everything. Small talk didn’t really work it always ended back up with the both of them being quiet. Things were weird. _And Iris hates it._

Iris was busy burying herself in her own thoughts when he started up another short conversation as they sat in mid-morning traffic.

“How do you think she’s going to react to all…of this?” Barry gesturing at them. “You mean Nora?”

Barry nodded.

Iris exhaled deeply, she thought about this when she woke up that morning. Yesterday she was so adrenalized that she didn’t really fully stop to think about the long-term effect of whatever is going down for the next few days. “Well, I think it’s going to be weird. She’s never spent more than twenty minutes with the both of us in the same room for as much as she can remember…but, I think she’ll enjoy it.”

Things flowed back into silence, this time it was a little more comforting for whatever reason. The rest of the car ride was filled with various short conversations – mostly involving the topic Nora. It was awkward as one would expect, but even in the small talk Iris didn’t realize how much she missed conversing with him. The small jokes he would make, the laughs they shared before things fell silent, yeah she missed it. _Maybe this won’t be so bad?_ She thinks to herself as they pull into Joe’s driveway.

“Alright, I’ll be right back. If Dad gets me to stay longer than five minutes turn the car off please.”

“Five minutes? How about ten? It’s freezing outside Iris. I can’t exactly walk into the house if I’m cold.” He joked.

“It’s only fifty-nine, it’s not that cold. I’ll most likely only be in for a minute. I would have you come in but…”

“Yeah, yeah, I know, Joe isn’t my biggest fan nowadays.”

Iris responded with a small smile. “Okay. No more than ten minutes. I mean it.” She could hear Barry chuckle as she walked into her dad’s house. She was greeted by the smell of noodles when she walked in the door. “Oh my god, is that Grandma Esther’s noodles??” she immediately said.

“Your dad is cooking them for lunch, Nora definitely has your taste buds.” Linda chuckled as her and Linda embraced in a hug. It could be ten minutes or ten months and Iris will always hug her best friend like she hasn’t seen her in years. She did miss Linda and Wally living in Central City but she was happy that they branched away from this crazy town.

“I know it’s only been like a week since I’ve seen you but it’s nice to see you Linda.”

“You know I’ll never back down from a West hug, I swear you guys give the best hugs.” Linda joked. “I know we do; I wish I could stay and converse but I’m kind of in a situation, do you know where Nora is?”

“I’m going to pester you with questions next time I talk you, you know that right?” Linda gestured towards the kitchen in response. “Good luck trying to get some answers out of me then.” Iris said with a light chuckle before walking towards the kitchen.

Iris didn’t even turn the corner fully before she heard “MOMMMYY!” and was attacked with hugs from Nora. “Hey Nugget!”

Joe cleared his throat with a smile on his face. “Nice to see you too Iris.”

“Hi dad.” She said picking up Nora and giving him a hug.

There may had been a chance that Iris didn’t tell her dad exactly why she needed Nora to stay over last night. Obviously he didn’t protest when she dropped her off and said that she had business to work out but he certainly had questions that she didn’t want to answer.

“Hi Iris, glad to see your vacation was short.” He planted a kiss on the temple of her head. “Definitely wasn’t a vacation but thank you for taking Nora last night. I know you have a full house right now.” Iris laughed. “Speaking of, where’s Jenna, Cecile, and Wally? I wanted to say hey before I left.”

Before Joe could even get the first letter of his sentence out Jenna busted through the door with Wally. When Iris, Nora, and Joe walked into the living room Iris was bombarded with another leg hug by Jenna. “Iris! You’re here! Is that why I saw Uncle Barry in the car? Are you guys joining the family fun before Linda and Wally leave!”

Suddenly Iris felt everyone’s eyes staring at her. She chuckled quietly “Not quite Jenna…” she manage to say barely above a whisper.

Joe had a taken back expression on his face, “Iris, can I talk to you for a minute.” he said as he turned back into the kitchen. _This is what she was trying to avoid. Thanks Jenna._ “Uh yeah…Nora sweetie, can you go gather your things for me? We’ll be leaving in minute.” She asked once she put Nora on the ground.

Nora nodded before whispering, “You’reee in touuubbbleee..”

Wally shot her a look of ‘good luck’ and Linda did so too.

When she reentered the kitchen, Joe had a questionable look on his face as he stirred the noodles in the pot. She couldn’t tell if he was mad or confused.

“I see you found him.”

“Yes…I did. “ She cleared her throat. “He was seriously injured in a meta fight and I offered to take care of him so Nora wouldn’t have to miss her visitation this week. I was going to tell you but Jenna kinda outed me first” she forced a humorless laugh out.

“Is that the only reason?” he looked up at her with curiosity this time. “Of course, what other reason would it be?”

“Listen Iris, I love that you guys are mending your relationship that’s not the problem…It’ just you’ve talked more about Barry in the last four weeks than you have in nearly three years. I just don’t want to see you guys moving fast again and then have to watch you get hurt.That’s all.”

Iris bit the inside of her cheek. She knew her dad was just looking out for her but another part of her understood exactly what he was saying. Yes, she’s talked about him more than she has in years, Yes, she may have a little part of her that may have those old feelings but it’s not like she acted on them. There’s no way she wants to put herself through that again. She’s been over this. _Baby steps._

“Don’t worry dad, I’m not with Barry if that’s what you’re implying. We are working on our relationship but it’s only as co parents. He almost died, again.” Iris winced at the way she said _‘again’ _and the fact she had to say it in the first place. “If I can in anyway be of help, I’m going to do so if not for me, for my child.”

“Just be careful please.”

“I know dad, don’t worry. We agreed to take baby steps.” She responded with a smile tiny before giving a quick hug.

Once they split from the hug Iris’s phone started vibrating.

**You’re at ten minutes. If you don’t leave now, I’m wasting your gas. :P**

Iris laughed quietly (and briefly) to herself, “Okay, I gotta go before I waste all my gas..the car is still running.”

“I love you Iris. Don’t ever forget that!”

“Love you more dad!” Iris called back as she exited the kitchen. She said her goodbyes to Linda and Wally. She made them promise that they would call before they leave so she can say goodbye. She gave Jenna a big hug and told her that she can spend the night soon so they could spend more time together because even Iris can admit that while having a little sister is nice, she didn’t spend nearly enough time with her which she wanted to change.

Nora raced down the stairs with her little jacket on and a backpack in her other hand shortly after “I’m ready mommy! Is it true? Is daddy in the car??” She asked connecting her hand with Iris’s and dancing with excitement. “Yes, we’ll talk about it when we get in the car. Okay?”

Nora nodded excitedly before waving goodbye to everyone.

~

Iris hadn’t even buckled Nora in before she started asking a crapload of questions. “How long are we staying with daddy?” “Is he wiving wif us permantly?” “Is he stil sick?”

“Yes, he’s still sick, that’s why we are going to stay with him for a few days, no this isn’t permanent.” Iris tried to answer all her questions.

“Daddy? What’s wrong wif you? You look fine to me. Mommy said you were sick..” Nora questioned from the backseat once they were about halfway to Barry’s house.

“I…I…” Barry struggled to answer the five-year-old’s question. “I fell at work and they wanted to make sure I didn’t inhale any of the chemicals I was working with. That’s why I was at the hospital last night. I’m just really really sore. That’s all.”

“So…you didn’t forgwet about me and mommy?”

“Of course not. I couldn’t ever forget you…or your mom.” He winced as he tried to look back at Nora.

“Otay. That makes me happy.”

~

The first night was the most interesting. Getting Barry up the stairs was difficult given Iris was 5’4 and Barry was 6’1, but they managed. Iris nearly jumped at Barry’s touch. Even after three years of no physical contact, he still send shivers down her spine. The ride to Barry’s wasn’t as awkward as the ride to her dad’s mainly cause Nora kept them laughing. That night, dinner was awkward but in a good way. Nora pestered with more questions and then made some funny jokes.

While Iris was out grabbing a few things and making some calls that night Barry and Nora had private time with one another and when she arrived back at Barry’s place she found him and Nora passed out together in his room. She couldn’t help but take a picture. _For memories. She told herself._

~

After the first night, they fell into a pretty good routine. Barry was walking around a little bit by the second day so they did little family activities with each other to pass the time.

That night was when they taught Nora how to play Jenga, it was a very funny few hours.

“Why does it kweep fwalling! I Give up!!” Nora could say exaggerated before rolling on the floor laughing. “You guys wike weird games.”

“You’ll learn to like it nugget. Trust me, it’s fun.”

Barry found out that Iris still remained undefeated at Jenga (as much as he hated to say it.)

“I’m going to win one day…you’ll see.”

“In your dreams Barr.”

-

The third night after dinner they watched Frozen; Iris protested but Barry convinced her to watch it. Something about musicals and child friendliness, she didn’t pay much attention to what he was saying cause she was so focused on his eyes. They were still a very pretty shade of blue.

But because she was so distracted, she had to listen to Barry and Nora sing ‘Let it go’ for a good two hours after the movie was over.

“It’s catchy Iris you can’t lie.”

“Nope.”

“C’mon! Sing a little!”

“Yeah mommy sing a little!!” Nora repeated as they started over for the umpteenth time.

-

The fourth night they played Go Fish with Nora’s Animal cards. It was a chill night. They spent most of that day helping Barry practice walking up and down the stairs. _That shiver down her spine was still there every time he would place his hand on her shoulder. She continued to push down those feelings._

“You sure you don’t have a dofin?”

“Yes, Nora, I don’t have a dolphin. I said go fish.”

“Lemme make sure you’re nwot wying! Check her cards daddy!” she ordered.

Barry attempted to check her cards. Iris refused so Barry started to tickle her and they ended the night with a tickle fight.

“Okay I surrender. I still don’t have a…” She continued to laugh. “Dolphin card. Just let me breathe!” She said in between laughs.

It was good. It felt nice. Iris didn’t want to admit out loud that she craved these kinds of things but she did. Maybe she didn’t realize how much until she had it sitting right in front of her but she enjoyed it and she was going to soak in every little moment before things changed again.

-

The fifth night was calmer, Iris spent most that day writing and proof-reading articles while Barry and Nora worked on her spelling. That night Nora crashed earlier than expected which left Iris and Barry alone. In the living room. Barry asked if she wanted to watch a movie, Iris hesitantly agreed (for more reasons than she would like to admit). They ended up watching some lifetime movie and fell asleep about twenty minutes in (they’re parents okay! Give them a break!).

Iris woke up the following morning with her head laying on his shoulder, and that alone, was enough to make her panic for a quick moment but couldn’t bring herself to move. _She wondered if Barry felt the same way. _

That foreignness Iris felt a few days ago in the car was no longer there. It felt as if things hadn’t changed but at the same time did. She couldn’t explain the weird feeling she was experiencing. So, she kept her distance that day and slept in Nora’s room that night.

~

Night six was different than the rest. Iris had been a little more cautious throughout the day, pushing any unfriendly feelings and thoughts she had deep down. By day six Barry was almost healed. He needed some help with the stairs still but other than that he wasn’t almost paralyzed, which was great! Only Iris deep down, was kind of bummed out since that meant her and Nora would be going back to the loft tomorrow.

They ate Chinese takeout for dinner that night as they watched Moana (Nora insisted), which Iris actually didn’t hate as much as Frozen. so that was progress right?

“How can you like Moana but not Frozen? I am deeply hurt.” Barry teased as he dramatically lied on the couch. “Yeah mommy! Frozen is better!”

“You guys stay tag teaming me, I should be the one offended.”

They shared a laugh.

Once the movie was over and things were quieting down Nora asked if they could get Ice cream before bed. Iris knew that if this was any other time she would’ve said no but today, without even thinking she said, “sure why not.” Which caused an unexpected reaction from Barry and Nora. “You never let me eat sweets before bed….this is gwreat!” She cheered before racing to get her shoes.

“She’s right you know. When did you decide to have a change of heart about dessert before bed??” He joked. “I figured since it was our last night before things change back to how they were that we should do something fun.” Iris sadly smiled. What she _did_ notice was the way the smile fell off Barry’s face. _She wasn’t going to bring up the fact it was her last night here but it kind of slipped. Great Job Iris._

“Anyways, I was thinking we could walk since it’s not far and-“

“Actually!” Barry interrupted. He cleared his throat before speaking again, “I was thinking we could go to the one we used to go to?” He said a low tone. It was true that he did live close to an ice cream parlor but that was the parlor he took all his friends to. He wanted to have one moment that felt special before things resumed back to how they were (although he thought that they have made some serious progress within the last month or so).

“You mean the one that’s halfway across town?” She laughed as the butterflies rearose in his stomach. Oh god, he would miss seeing her smile every day. “I will fill your tank for you then. Please Iris, like you said this is our last night spending together as a family. Nora was like two or three the last time we went there together. I want her to have another good memory.”

“Okay fine. But only because I can’t turn down free gas.” She joked.

~

The drive there was fun. They blasted music and did a little bit of car karaoke. Iris hated, but secretly loved, the fact that Barry’s voice still had an effect on her. Even if he was stupidly singing, it was beautiful…For a quick second her mind went back to the night they got engaged.

_Can't say how the days will unfold_

_Can't change what the future may hold_

_But, I want you in it_

_Every hour, every minute_

God, that song was embedded in her head with no escape. The way she would relive that night over and over again after they split was something she never told anyone. That night was so special. _The song, the dancing they did, that night in the bedroom was_—_Nope. Nope. Not again. _She wasn’t going to let her mind wander like that. That was the past…he snapped herself back into reality when Nora called her name.

“Yes nugget?”

“Did you hear me sing??”

“Yes, you were beautiful babe.” She smiled at Nora through the rear-view mirror. “You okay Iris? You kinda slipped away for a minute.” He had a charming smile. Drove her crazy. _Nope. Nope. Nope._

“Yeah…” She nodded. “yeah, yup, I was trying to remember if it was left or right turn after this light.” She lied. Well fibbed. She was actually trying to remember the directions when he started singing and then it slipped her memory.

“It’s left. You’re in the right lane. See there it is.” He pointed at the ‘Marble slab’ ice cream sign.

“Yeah…it came back to me.” She chuckled.

~

Iris ordered her usual, mint chocolate chip, Nora got a mix of vanilla and mix chocolate chip (she was definitely her and Barry’s child), and Barry just got a regular vanilla with sprinkles once they made it to the shop. They sat in a small booth in the corner.

“THIS IS SO GOOD!” Nora cheered as she shoved more ice cream in her mouth. She had some on her face and even one point on her nose which made Barry and Iris laugh.

“I wish it could be like this all the time.” She said with a huge cheesy smile. Iris’s heart nearly stopped or maybe it did and she was somehow still breathing. She felt her throat close up. It hurt her that she couldn’t give Nora ‘this’ all the time.

Iris stuttered a response out, “w-well maybe we can hangout more often? Okay?” She said looking at Barry who’s cheeks flushed with a tint of red. “He can sleepover too?”

This time Barry choked on his ice-cream. Iris tried not to laugh, even if it was a sad laugh. “You know, we’ll discuss this another time. Let’s enjoy tonight okay?”

“Otay!”

~

Nora was playing with the arcade game in the opposite corner of the shop while Iris was cleaning up their mess. “Hey Iris.” Barry said faintly as she gathered trash. “What if you and Nora stayed until Sunday?”

“Hmm? You mean like continue to stay the night? Why would we?”

“I know I’m better and walking now but it would be nice you know…” He said barely above a whisper. “Plus, it would give her two more days of family time before I start work again on Monday. You know the flash and only CSI can’t disappear forever.” He let out a dry humorless laugh as he started toying with his hands again. _Iris knew he was nervous. He only ever fidgeted when he was nervous._

“I don’t know Barr…Do you think that it’s truly a good idea?”

“Yes. I do. And I think that it’ll be good for us you know. For future purposes, in case we ever travel together or something…”

“Oh…Okay then yeah.” This time Iris can feel her cheeks heat up and she’s pretty sure if her skin was capable of showing blush she would have red cheeks. He thought about vacationing together? _Yeah this week was full of surprises but having her feelings come back full force within a week was not one she was expecting to receive._ “Yeah. But we have to go home Sunday afternoon. I have a lot to do for Linda, for the you know, wedding.”

“Yes of course. But also, I wanted to ask you something.”

“Hmm?” was all she managed to say scared of what was next.

This time he was rubbing the back of his neck. “I was wondering….if I could take you bowling? Like old times you know. Only maybe this time have Nora tag along.” Maybe it was the expression on Iris’s face that made him nervous or if he just generally had nerves around her again but he immediately spat out a “Only if you’re comfortable doing so!” right after. She decided that a little flirting couldn’t hurt. _Right??_

“Barry Allen, did you plan out a whole date expecting me to say yes to us staying over longer?” She teased. His cheeks grew very noticeably red at this point which she found adorable. “Not a date….unless you want it to be. I just thought it could be nice you know…She’s only ever been with me and Ralph so I figured it was a good idea and I-“

“Yes!” She laughed, “I would like to go bowling with you and our daughter. I’m not opposed to spending time together you dork.”

He laughed. “G-Great!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy some West-Allen family cuteness before I dump more angst on you *evil laughs*
> 
> \- Chapter nine (as of right now) is THE flashback chapter so enjoy this and the next chapter lol... I don't know exactly when I'll have chapter eight out but I'm going to try to update ASAP. Thanks for all the kudo's and comments they are such motivators! And thank you for sticking with this story even with all the crazy updates. 
> 
> Twitter - Dansenswest

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think. I also have a twitter now! @Dansenswest. I would really love to hear what you think on either platform. Stay tuned :) - Dansenswest xx


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